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Inside Out Empowerment
By Kim Olver
When we are thinking of making changes in our lives, all too
often we look externally. We have a perfect picture in our
heads about what life should look like then we go about acting
on life to give us whatever it is we think would be perfect.
The only problem with this approach is that we are giving away
our personal power.
Whenever we wait for certain things, people or conditions to be
in place in order to be "happy," what do we do in the meantime?
I'll be happy when my wife cooks more often or I'll be happier
if my husband were more romantic. Or I'll be happy when my
children start listening to what I say and stop sassing me
every time I turn around. Or I'd be very happy at work if my
boss would just recognize the contributions I make. This is
when we want other people to match up to the perfect world we
have created in our minds.
Then, there are those situations when we make our happiness
contingent on certain things. I'll be happy if I made more
money. I can't make more money until I finish my degree. I'll
be happy when we can have our own home. I'll be happy if I can
get a new job. I'll be happy when my parents are healthy.
Again, I ask, "What does one do in the meantime?"
While it is perfectly acceptable to hope for things to be
different in your life and to strive to improve and make things
better, it's unacceptable to waste your life on negative
emotions. There is a saying that you are what you think about
and that what you keep in mind expands. So, if you are always
focused on the negatives and the things you lack, then you will
attract more negative into your.
However, if you focus on the positive and what you have that's
good and helpful, then you will attract more positive things
into your life. Which would you rather have? Then you must
begin to change your thinking.
We have almost total control over our thinking. I know there
are unwelcome thoughts that intrude on our consciousness every
day. However, we have the power once they are there to focus
our mind elsewhere. All we need is to have a plan in place that
whenever I think about X, Y and Z—things I don't want occupying
my mind—then, I will think about my summer vacation instead.
Focus on any positive experience—past, present or future.
So why do you have to be the one who changes when it is obvious
that the "other person" is the one with the problem. Inside Out
Empowerment helps people put ownership of a problem where it
belongs—with whoever is the most upset about it. If you are
angry because your husband doesn't take the trash out on time,
then which one of you is the most upset with the situation? You
are—so it's your problem. Your husband probably doesn't even
notice that the garbage is an issue.
If you are certain your boss is a controlling, arrogant jerk,
do you think he or she is lying awake at night trying to figure
out how to be more sensitive. Most likely not. He or she is not
even acknowledging a problem. Fixing the problem comes with
correct problem attribution. Whose problem is it? Problems
belong to the one most disturbed by them and it is that
person's job to seek the solution.
Most of human suffering is our resistance to what exists in our
life. We become quite power hungry trying to change others to
meet our needs. What would happen if you simply accepted
everyone where they are at, without exception? What if you
recognized that things are already perfect just the way they
are? Could you be more content and happier with the life
situations that already exist?
Inside Out Empowerment teaches individuals first to attribute
the problem to the correct individual and then works with the
problem owner at adjusting his or her behavior. This allows the
unhappy person to be in the driver's seat with his or her own
emotions. Starting from the inside out, people empower
themselves by adjusting their own thoughts and behavior to
manage whatever life throws at them.
Inside Out Empowerment is such a powerful way to unleash your
personal power in a big way. What are you waiting for?
About the Author: Kim Olver has over 20 years experience in
staff development and supervision and is an expert in
leadership skills, staff relationships and diversity. Certified
in reality therapy/choice theory/lead management/quality school
concepts, she works with counselors, schools and businesses to
apply these ideas
http://-coachingforexcellence.biz/ChoiceTheory.shtml
Source: http://www.isnare.com
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